10 alternative Valentine’s Day gifts

According to a recent report in the Guardian sales of sex toys and lingerie are booming despite the downturn. We might not be out as much (pubs were remarkably quiet on New Year’s Eve) but we’re still managing to find the cash to spend on a quiet night in. 

Lovehoney’s profits trebled in the year to 31st March 2013 on the back of a new range of vintage pleasure products called Swoon, which are being sold in Boots stores. They also secured an exclusive licence to sell the Fifty Shades of Grey official bondage kit and launched some late night TV ads, putting them in the spotlight as the ‘sexual happiness people’. 

Luxury lingerie retailer Agent Provocateur also saw its pre-tax profits double from £1.7 m to £3.8m in the same trading period. 

So given that staying in seems to be the new going out, here’s a round-up of new toys and erotic accessories for an alternative Valentine’s Day. Treat yourself, a girlfriend or a lover. May we suggest high tea and pornography or some coffee, cake and kink to get you in the mood… 

The Love Book by Allie Esiri

  • The Love Book – an anthology of timeless poems, short stories, quotes and letters inspired by all forms of love – passionate, platonic, parental, thwarted or blossoming… features contributions from Shakespeare, Napoleon, Sappho, Carol Ann Duffy, Mozart, Bob Dylan and more. Helena Bonham Carter describes it as “chocolate for the soul”. £20.00, www.iliterature.net.

Doxy Body Wand Massager


  • Body massager from DOXY – “the world’s most powerful wand massager” and the UK’s answer to the Hitachi Magic Wand. Great for all over stress relief, tired muscles and intimate play. £89.00 from www.doxymassager.com.

 LELO Valentine's Day

  • LELO Ora – billed as “the world’s most sophisticated oral sex simulator” – a rotating clitoral vibrator that simulates oral sex for women. It has 10 adjustable stimulation modes and is waterproof so you can use it in the bath. No substitute for the real thing of course but a thoughtful gift nonetheless… £118.99 from www.lovehoney.co.uk.

Cupid's Couch - Bondara

  • Cupid’s Couch – described as “an adult bouncy castle” this is a sturdy inflatable bedroom accessory made from PVC… food friendly, easy to clean and designed to get you into adventurous positions. Comes with a book of suggestions and is a comfy chaise longue if you drape it in velvet. Just don’t let the cat near it… £86.90 from www.bondara.co.uk.

We Vibe 4 Remote Control Clitoral and G Spot Couples' Vibrator

  • We-Vibe 4 – the raved about couple’s toy at this year’s Erotica. Previous versions have been improved on so it’s a slimmer, more ergonomic design, which adds a new dimension to solo or couple’s play, £124.99 from www.lovehoney.co.uk.

Red Rider Strap on for G-spot and Prostate Play

Little Red Riding Hood fantasies? Try the Red Rider G-spot Strap On Harness Kit for g-spot or prostate play and role reversal. Comes with an adjustable strap, interchangeable O Ring, an 8″ dildo and a small pocket for a bullet vibe… £24.99  from www.lovehoney.co.uk.

Kama Sutra Cupcakes from Rude Cakes

Naughty China from Outlandish Creations

  • ‘My Love’ naughty teacup and saucer or a personalised endearment of your choice from Outlandish Creations. See the full range of saucy products here.

Rocks Off 40 LIXX Vibrating Cock Ring

Metal Worx Nipple Clamps - Ann Summers

  • Heavy duty adjustable steel nipple clamps by Metal Worx – we love the rest of the range too. £35.00 from www.annsummers.com. 

Photo credit: saucy tunes by Nikki Awesome.  

Fatal error: Uncaught Exception: 12: REST API is deprecated for versions v2.1 and higher (12) thrown in /home/inrudehe/public_html/wp-content/plugins/seo-facebook-comments/facebook/base_facebook.php on line 1273