Having a labia cast done feels pretty sensual and isn’t painful (though I’d advise shaving or waxing first so there’s nothing for the plaster to cling to). Lying on your back with your knees apart is also a great posture to relax the back and pelvis after a day of sitting with crossed legs in the office.

$5.99 for the downloadable pdf.

Happy casting!

A deliciously indecent art gallery 

Manuela’s blog

I’m sure all of you who have read stories to small children have come across Five Minutes’ Peace by Jill Murphy. It’s a lovely book, which all five of my sons have enjoyed. In this story Mummy Elephant tries to sneak five minutes’ peace, a trick worth learning in a hectic household believe me.

This is all very well when you have four small fictional baby elephants, however, enter the real world and it’s an entirely different story. Trying to have a pee in private can seem an act worthy of being reported to Social Services for neglect let alone holding your partner’s hand, kissing him/her or God forbid trying to have sex. But ‘try’ you must.

We all know the excuses we can make to get out of arrangements made with friends or play dates for your children but you make excuses to avoid Date Nights at your peril. These are precious times, valuable for you both, even when you think that after a day of work/nappies/shopping/you have absolutely nothing left to give. Give you must!

So, getting ready for that date. No matter how old your offspring are they have an innate knowledge that they are about to be abandoned and even the most independent teenagers, who in any other circumstances can’t bring themselves to grunt a ‘good morning’ at you, become immediately super-glued to your hip.

My older boys, who in reality are now men, still bang on the door whilst I’m taking a bath demanding ‘What the hell are you doing in there?’ Now, I don’t hold a degree in Linguistics, but even I would have thought that the plaque on the door which reads ‘BATHROOM’ would give a fairly clear indication of what I may well be doing in there. Apparently not. Deep breath. I try to remain calm and eventually the oik gets the message and shuffles off mumbling something along the lines of ‘Call yourself a mother?’

Of course I don’t advocate leaving a small child to wander around the house poking fingers in where they really oughtn’t, but a hot date requires a hot bath, a sharp razor and the bendiness of an Olympic gymnast to reach those places that haven’t been touched since the last hot date! These three things alone should not be witnessed by anyone else, not a toddler and not even the stroppy teenager who thinks he/she has seen everything – believe me they haven’t.

Call in the cavalry if you must, a friend that can have your little/big darlings whilst you de-fuzz, chill-out and heat up. Think about the night to come, about just being you, about when you first met your partner, think about anything that gets you in the Date Night mood and then hold it up there in your imagination until the time comes to unleash it on your unsuspecting, overjoyed partner!

Being a parent is a wonderful experience but let’s never forget how we got there.

Don’t get me wrong; I love those boys as if they were my own, which indeed they are, but just every now and then I like to remind them that ‘I’m a person too!’ (said Mummy Elephant).

My message to all parents is simple. If you need five minutes then just take it. Picture book explanations just don’t cut it. Give it to them straight. ‘Either you sod off and leave mummy to shave her legs, pluck any wayward hairs from her top lip and indeed conjure up wild fantasies for the night ahead or she’ll do it with the bathroom door wide open when your mates turn up. That seems to do the trick these days.

So thanks Ms Murphy for your beautiful book, it’s been well loved by me but sadly my slightly elephant-skinned sons missed the point completely.

Now I’m off for a hot bath with a razor and the Kama Sutra. If it’s an emergency boys, call 999 and if not you’re on your own!

Beth Davies is a freelance writer based in Hastings and mum of five boys. She blogs at Chasing Her Tale and Words Escaped Me, and writes a Cheapskate parenting column for Hastings Online Times. 

Photo credit: Mindof @ Veer

Introducing adult toys for couples gets you talking about sex and focusing on pleasure. Buying new toys also creates anticipation, which is key to good sex. ‘People who have the best sex use sex toys and people who are having great sex are generally the happiest people,’ say Lovehoney so it seems the market for quality adult toys will continue to expand.

I suggest having a joint account for pleasure: toys, lingerie, sensual workshops and hotels, and committing to buying each other a treat every month. Shopping online is easy, discreet and you can take advantage of online reviews and videos before you buy.

Top 10 sex toys for couples

1. New couples’ vibrators include FixSation, Lelo Tiani and We Vibe. You wear them during sex to build sensation internally and externally.
2. The Hitachi Magic Wand is a powerful and intense plug-in body massager. Use it for external clitoral stimulation, internal massage (via various attachments) and as a body massager for relaxation. There are several other brands on the market.
3. Masturbators are stretchy toys/sleeves that you slip over the penis for hand jobs/oral sex. They can be open or close-ended and are ribbed to deliver differ sensations. I like Tenga Eggs, which are super stretchy and designed for one-off use.
4. Lovehoney’s Sqweel is a rotating wheel with 10 soft tongues designed to simulate the feeling of oral sex.
5. Dildos can be used solo or with a strap-on for vaginal and anal play. They come in various shapes, sizes and materials are glass ones are great for sensation play as you can heat or chill them before use.
6. Try remote control toys when you’re out and about for a little impromptu fun. She can slip her toy inside and give him the controls to manipulate.
7. Shower sex – invest in some waterproof toys that you can submerge for bathtime pleasures. You can also buy shower handles for the wall that give you something to grip during shower sex.
8. Couples’ games – check out CoupleConnect cards and popular board games like Monogamy and Risky or Frisky.
9. Add to your bondage kit – floggers, edible candles, a blindfold, bondage tape, nipple clamps, rope in various sizes, door cuffs, a sex swing, cock rings, cock & ball gags and chastity belts. Look for household pervertibles to use for sensation play and buy clothing and accessories in different materials – faux fur, PVC, leather, latex, rubber, silk, lace, steel.
10. Anal toys – Nexus and Aneros do a good range of prostate massagers. Explore strap-ons, anal beads, butt plugs and vibrators, which you can pull out at orgasm to heighten sensation.

 Photo credit: Gabees @ Veer

Looking forward to watching this – it looks hilarious.

Behind the scenes in Customer Returns at Lovehoney, one of the UK’s most successful online sex toy retailers. Lovehoney sponsored this year’s Eroticon conference and recently bought upscale boutique Coco de Mer for a tidy sum so it will be interesting to see if the documentary explores both events. I’m curious to know what plans they have in store for Coco.

Watch a preview clip.

http://bcove.me/rr2049ze

By Stephanie Jiroch

I put the Club Vibe 2.0 music-driven wireless vibrator to the test: at the club, at home and in the hands of my lover.

The vibrator comes in a two part egg-shaped design, created with comfort and curves in mind as it sits delicately in your underwear. Club Vibe gifts you a free pair of underwear with the vibrator (which was a pleasant surprise) and contains a stitched compartment in the crotch area to fit the vibrator. This is a great alternative for those who are too sensitive for direct stimulation to the clitoris and instead need a little fabric to soften the sensation.

The vibrator has five levels of manual stimulation and a separate music option. This music option picks up sounds, beats and bass from any music-playing device (and even picks up words if your lover speaks directly into the microphone).  The device needs at least two hours of charging before use.

At The Club

Taking my Club Vibe 2.0 on a test drive, I spent the evening dancing away at a local nightspot with loud music and a big crowd. Unfortunately, the microphone on the vibrator’s controller needs to be close to the music speaker otherwise it has a hard time picking up the bass and beat of the song. It will instead get confused and continuously vibrate because it is picking up on the loud noise of the people.

Using it at home or in a smaller environment turned out to be much more fun.

At home

The vibrator’s five manual stages all work well, increasing in stimulation and pulsation as you move up and through the levels. The wireless remote is easy to hold and control with one hand.  I found using the music at home worked much better than at the club.

If using the music option, please note the microphone needs to be within a few inches of the speakers when playing music, even when the volume on both devices is set high.  The device easily picks up the beat and bass, making the pulsations fun and surprising. It’s a nice alternative to a continuous pulsation!

Letting my lover take the reigns, I gave up control and let him have the wireless remote for a while. You are only allowed between 5-10 feet between the vibrator and the remote before it has a hard time catching the signal, so stay close! It’s a fun and playful way to mix things up and include your partner in the pleasure.

A few last things to note:

If you sit while wearing it be careful not to hit the power button, tilt hips forward to get maximum sitting benefit.

It is NOT waterproof so please don’t use in a bathing suit for hot tub, pool or ocean use.

In clubs it has a harder time picking up beats, unless of course you are directly in front of the speaker (which may make you deaf in the long run). It is better used in music mode either at home or in a smaller social setting where the bass and beat can be picked up.

Always make sure to clean your toys after use, either with an approved toy cleanser or as recommended by the manufacturer.

Stephanie Jiroch is a sexual empowerment coach, educator, certified yoga instructor and reiki practitioner living in San Francisco, CA. While not working with her clients you can find her studying for her Master’s of Science in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), freelance writing and enjoying all that the Bay Area has to offer. 

Inside the sachet is a tiny ampoule of oil which you are supposed to apply to the clitoris (1-2 drops only as it’s concentrated). Note to self: read instructions first. I got a bit carried away and almost used the entire ampoule. Christ. It has an instant warming effect and gets hotter, the effects lasting for up to half-an-hour. Sadly, there was no one with me to lick the excess oil off so I wiped it off with a bit of tissue. I massaged the rest of the oil into my clitoris and carried on pottering around the house.

It creates mixed sensations, heating up your bits first and making everything tingle. The tingling intensifies and it almost feels electrical – like having a mini vibrator strapped to your clitoris. It’s most bizarre and unexpected given that this is a natural oil and doesn’t contain menthol or L-Arginine. It does what it says on the tin and makes everything throb so you simply *have* to open your legs and enjoy it :) Walking around the house seems to intensify things so throw in a few PC exercises or a vibrator and you will orgasm pretty quickly.

This is a very sexy oil and I’ve since bought a bottle for my handbag – spice up the working day, a date, why not? I’ve also recommended it to all my girlfriends. It is natural and has no side effects. The sensations last for quite a while – up to half an hour – and you can reapply as needed. Dab a drop on your tongue and it will give you an idea of how it feels and tastes (slightly cinnamon-y), which is fine. So it’s great for oral sex and will give him a surprise tingle too.

It’s worth a try if you’re feeling a little desensitized perhaps post-hysterectomy or baby (after your six-week check up). It’s a fun product and works really well – just remember, a little goes a long way… One 5ml bottle contains enough oil for 50 applications.

Ingredients: Proprietary Essential Oil Blend including: Sweet Almond Oil, Cinnamon Cassia, Natural Tocopherols (vitamin e); silica, Phenoxyethanol and Ethylhexyglycerin, Rosemary Oil Extract. No preservatives, parabens, perfumes or artificial flavours.

It’s not suitable for use during pregnancy or breastfeeding and you can’t use it with latex condoms, as the oils will rot the material.

Available from Lovehoney priced £16.99, 5ml bottle.

On Arousal Oil is made by Sensuva, a US-based company that specialises in female sexual health products.

The Design Museum presents the first UK retrospective of iconic French shoe designer Christian Louboutin, celebrating a career that has pushed the boundaries of high fashion shoe design.

The exhibition celebrates Louboutin’s career to date and showcases 20 years of designs, revealing the artistry and theatricality of his shoe design, which includes over 200 pairs: stilettos, studded sneakers, bejewelled pumps and lace-up boots. Find out how his shoes are constructed and the inspiration behind that iconic red sole (one of his assistants was painting her nails crimson). Louboutin is inspired by performance, cabaret and the showgirl, fantasy and fairy tale, art and architecture, film, landscape and travel. He says he wants to make shoes that are ‘like jewels’ and that the arch of a woman’s foot in a high heel emulates its shape when she orgasms.

The exhibition will focus on the handcrafted shoe and one-off designs, plus his latest collection of handbags and menswear. There is also a special section dedicated to the shoes designed for ‘Fetish’, an exhibition at the La Gallerie Du Passage, Paris in 2007, a collaboration of photography between Louboutin and artist David Lynch.

• Novelist Danielle Steel owns 6,000 pairs apparently and is Louboutin’s biggest customer buying up to 80 pairs in one go.
• Louboutin interned at the Folies Bergère so learnt a few tips and tricks for comfortable heels. Dancers used to send him out to buy carpaccio of veal from the markets, which they used to create extra padding in their shoes..

1st May – 9th July 2012

Design Museum, Shad Thames, London SE1 2YD
Opening 10am – 5.45pm daily. Admission £10 adults
Tel: 0207 940 8790

Photo credit: Phillippe Garcia from the Christian Louboutin book published by Rizzoli

Yoga also improves and enhances our sexual health and body image. ‘Mula bandha‘ (‘mula’ – root, ‘bandha’ – bondage) is a posture in which you contract and lift the body from the anus to the spine. It strengthens your core muscles in the pelvic and abdominal area, improves blood flow to the genitals and prostate, and enhances arousal and orgasms.

A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine (2008) examined the effect of Eastern approaches (yoga, mindfulness, acupuncture) on female sexuality and dysfunction. Researchers at the University of British Columbia, Vancouver found that ‘mindfulness significantly improves several aspects of sexual response and reduces sexual distress in women with sexual desire and arousal disorders. In women with provoked vestibulodynia, acupuncture significantly reduces pain and improves quality of life. There is also a case series of acupuncture significantly improving desire among women with hypoactive sexual desire disorder. Although yoga has only been empirically examined and found to be effective for treating sexual dysfunction (premature ejaculation) in men, numerous historical books cite the benefits of yoga for women’s sexuality.’

I did a fantastic three-hour Vinyasa flow yoga workshop recently with Romana Balle so had chance to experience these benefits first hand. Read more at Suite101: Vinyasa Flow Yoga Workshop With Romana Balle. 

Photo credit: Deklofenak 

‘Having 3 distinct regions, the G-spot emerged with dimensions of length (L) of 8.1 mm x width (W) 3.6 mm to 1.5 mm x height (H) 0.4 mm. Upon removal of the entire structure with the adjacent margin tissues, the G-spot stretched from 8.1 to 33 mm.’

He says he has also seen the g-spot structure many times during cosmetic gynaecology surgery and spoken to his patients to confirm its sensitivity.

The G-spot has a controversial history due to lack of specific anatomical evidence so further research is welcome. Beverley Whipple, Professor Emerita at Rutgers University, who coined the term ‘g-spot’ in 1981 and has written a book on it believes it’s more of a general area than a specific spot and may be linked to clitoral structures.

‘I selected an old lady for the dissection because I wanted to see whether this structure was persistent through life or just in the younger generation,’ Ostrzenski told The New Scientist. ‘This study confirmed the anatomical existence of the g-spot, which may lead to a better understanding and improvement of female sexual function.’

He plans to do more dissections next month and also to test hormones, nerves and chemicals to try and ascertain whether g-spot function varies with age.

Sitting on the back of a fast motorbike also helps ;-)

For more research and live demonstrations check out Deborah Sundahl’s work on female ejaculation.

The Journal of Sexual Medicine. 

New Scientist: G-spot diagram

Photo credit: Jochen Schonfeld

Rowan Pelling chats to academics, authors and researchers about the history and significance of the kiss and learns how to kiss for stage, screen and radio.

Want to know what you learn and reveal every time you kiss?

• We used to kiss with our noses, a term called ‘sniffing’ before the word ‘kissing’ was in common use. ‘A sniff’ was a way to recognise family members.
• Face-to-face connections are widespread in the animal kingdom. Chimpanzees like to French kiss each other and the odd zookeeper!
• Trobriand Islanders engage in a ritual of ‘violent kissing’, which involves grooming each other with leaves and twigs, biting each other’s lower lip until they draw blood, pulling out tufts of hair and finally, nibbling each other’s eyelashes. Having short eyelashes is a status symbol…
• When you kiss someone your brain is assessing that person’s health, eating and drinking habits, smoking, state of mind and whether or not they will be a reliable partner to have children with.
• Kissing affects three brain systems – sex drive, feelings of romantic love and feelings of deep attachment. Testosterone and estrogen are exchanged via saliva, which is why men like sloppier kisses apparently, to gauge where a woman is at in her menstrual cycle and whether she is ovulating.
• Dopamine levels rise when we kiss which triggers our brain circuitry to fall in love or sustain those feelings of early love. It’s why kissing is so important in a long-term relationship.
• Attachment – kissing drives up levels of oxytocin in the brain making us feel calm, secure, connected and attached and lowers our levels of stress hormones.
• Kissing can be hazardous, says Dr Nigel Carter from the Dental Health Foundation. There are 20-30,000 types of bacteria in the mouth, most of which are harmless but if a mother has a dental infection she can transmit it to her child via ‘vertical transmission’ and it can affect that child’s dental health for life.
• For sweet kisses visit the dental hygienist regularly, drink plenty of water and don’t forget to brush your tongue as it harbours lots of bacteria.