Nic Ramsay, the owner of She Said erotic boutique is hosting an evening Salon on November 3rd. There’ll be talks on the history of the corset, how to use the Mooncup, and Secret Ceres. I’m going to talk about loss of libido because it’s such an emotive issue. Read some of the comments on this article I wrote for Suite101.
My libido has been up and down since I had my daughter in 2006, and it’s a mix of physical and psychological issues: breast-feeding, the contraceptive pill, work and financial stress, and first-time parenting.
Tiredness, lack of time and privacy (we were staying with the in-laws) meant we fell into the habit of having quickies. There wasn’t enough kissing and foreplay, and sleep deprivation had a big impact on both of us.
I came off the pill (Microgynon) after a while because it made me feel very low and tearful, and I had no libido whatsoever. I once spent ages trying to get into someone’s else’s flat before I realised I was at the wrong door. When I finally got home I spent the next half-hour wailing into my pillow and feeling like life wasn’t worth living. I came off the pill last year and am about to start using Persona, a non-hormonal form of contraception.
I’m experimenting with a few things to see if I can boost my libido naturally via diet, supplements, and exercise. I’ve just started the Orgasmic Diet programme by Marrena Lindberg, which focuses on the physiological side of sexual health, orgasms and libido. She believes that if your sexual physiology isn’t balanced your libido and sexual response will suffer.
Her ‘diet’ involves taking high-strength fish oils (I bought some ultra-refined ones from Boots), half an oz dark chocolate, and cutting back on certain foods that interfere with brain chemistry such as soya, trans fats, and caffeine. Combined with PC exercises, it will boost genital circulation and give you more frequent orgasms and stronger sexual sensation.
Lindberg believes that we need to balance our brain chemistry (increase dopamine levels and moderate serotonin), develop enough free testosterone, and strong PC muscle tone for a high sexual response. The ‘diet’ isn’t really a diet as such. It’s good for you and will give you a sense of wellbeing and mental focus.
I’ve also booked in with Fiona Corliss, a natural nutritionist, to talk about other dietary changes I can make to increase libido. She made me some yummy raw chocolate a while ago, which acts as an aphrodisiac when taken in the morning.
My goal for the next year is to focus on exploring sensual pleasures, and have a little fun with it all. I will post updates and plan to run some evening Salons in Hastings. If you’d like to come along to one or if there’s anything you’d like to recommend or share, please get in touch. I’m also looking for guest posts on holistic ways to boost libido and increase sexual energy.
She Said erotic boutique, 11 Ship Street Gardens, Brighton, BN1 1AJ. 01273 977811. Sugargroup: November 3rd 2010, 6.30pm-8.30pm.
Grazia magazine: The journalist Anna Magee interviewed me for a piece in this week’s Grazia about why women aren’t having as much sex. I spoke to her about my experiences with sex and libido after childbirth.