Mother of Pearl
The erotic novelist has blocked me! The marvels of marketing Madeline are clammed back into their shell – oh well, it could have been fun – but wasn’t.
Swash and Backwash
Despite my siren call I’ve not yet bagged a sailor. All my charms and even using the thin picture for my profile but no joy yet. Yes, I remain hopeful but Poseidon only knows why.
The Dead Sea Sulk
It’s not much to ask but I do think that a gentleman, seeking a lady, should have teeth. They don’t have to be his own teeth but they do have to be in his mouth! Good grief, I’ve had a pitiful couple of weeks. The plankton are taking their revenge on me.
Coming Up For Air
And breathe! POF for losing your puff. It has come to my attention that my cumulative statistics over the last 8 weeks probably outnumbers all the male attention I’ve ever had in my life.
The Tangled Net We Heave
I know I shouldn’t be wicked but seriously, this week I went on a date with a man who bore a remarkable resemblance to Jabba the Hut. Ok, I know that is a wicked comparison…but, honestly! When I tentatively suggested that I wasn’t getting the spark he got both cross and sniffy with me – sniffy boo hoo and sniffy peculiar! Apparently it was unnecessarily cruel of me to say this to his face. I should have waited until he was home alone. Especially as I’d seen his photos and they were recent! All I can say is wide angles, clever angles and Photoshop!
Juggling Jellyfish
Buddhist my arse! The only path to enlightenment he wanted to discover was the direct route into my knickers. Amazing, I’ve started to turn men down. This is quite a breakthrough for a girl who has always been astounded and way too grateful for the slightest whiff of male interest.
POF for the soul. I am on my own journey to making actual choices about my future relationships and who to have them with…and, with any luck, there will be plenty of fun on my magical mystery tour to marriage.
The Long Haul
My hormones have abated. I have stopped stalking date no.1. It nearly worked, we were going to meet on Tuesday. Snow in March. Mother Nature has more than one way to ruin a girl’s day! Still, it’s all part of learning how to play the game. What an inevitable shame that the trial run was ...
Becalmed
Should I be happy that a 27-year-old is repeatedly messaging me with photos of his privates and urgent pleas to meet him within the hour? He’s even added me as a favourite! What a shame I’m not a man, I’m told that a man would love that. For me it just seems rather sad and bizarre, even if he is rather cute….hmm could I? No, well not yet anyway!
Bitten by a Shark
Ouch! Last week’s optimism was misplaced. Date no. 2 did not happen.
Possible reasons?
1. Men without photos really are married?
2. Using a photo of oneself when one was one (or possibly two) stone lighter is asking for mutual disappointment.
