Words: Kavida Rei
When someone encourages you to do your PC muscle-squeezing exercises or Kegels, what’s the first word that springs to mind? I’m guessing it’s…’boring’, right? Well I’m here to tell you that exercising your pelvic floor can be sexy and fun. My partner and I get down and do our base chakra workout together and we’ve found ways to make it exciting. If you are a woman currently without a partner, I would suggest practising your exercises with Ben Wa balls inserted, or a Jade egg. If you’re a single man you can self-pleasure beforehand, which will stimulate and energise the area and enhance the blood flow.
The benefits of daily PC pumping are so profound and make such a difference to your sex life that I promise you won’t be disappointed if you stick to the system I’m going to describe. It takes 5 – 10 minutes to do and is a great start to the day, or even just before making love. This workout will enhance and strengthen your orgasms, stimulate vaginal lubrication and give your partner much more control over ejaculation, enabling him to fuck for hours, having wild, internal, female-style cosmic orgasms without ejaculating (as we all know, unless you’re with some 20 year-old stud, the moment of ejaculation is the end of the party).
The PC Workout, Tantra-style
Sit cross-legged facing each other. You can have your eyes open or closed, but it’s a good opportunity to do a bit of ‘eye-gazing’ with your partner at the same time. (How often do we sit and simply look into each other’s eyes?).
1)Halfway through a long, slow inbreath squeeze your PC muscles tight. The pubococcygeus muscles are the ones you use when you stop the flow of urine, midway). Hold that squeeze as you breathe out, and then halfway through the outbreath, release the muscles and relax the pelvic floor, all the way to the end of the outbreath.
Repeat five times.
2)Do the same as above, only this time, halfway through the outbreath instead of just relaxing the muscles halfway through the outbreath, push out, or ‘bear down’.
Repeat five times.
3) Take a long breath in. On the long, slow outbreath do tiny little squeezes in a steady pumping action.
Repeat five times.
4) Sit in yab-yum position (this is the classic, tantra ‘shiva-shakti’ pose where the woman sits on the cross-legged man and wraps her legs behind him, crossing at the ankles, or choosing the most comfortable position for you).
Breathe slowly, on the outbreath tilt your pelvis backwards. On the inbreath, tilt your pelvis forwards and at the same time squeeze your PC muscles. You’re doing this together so it feels really sexy. You can have your heads cheek to cheek or forehead to forehead, whatever feels good.
Gradually speed up and as you get faster start to make the sound of ‘Ah’ on each outbreath, getting louder as you speed up. You’ll probably giggle a lot at first and this is great. Laughter is deeply therapeutic. Sound breaks down inhibitions in sex and it’s good to practise making a noise whenever you get the opportunity!
Do this for a few minutes until you end in a loud ‘AAAAHHHHH’. Let your bodies shake, rock, whatever they want to do. If you’ve really ‘gone for it’, you should feel the energy flowing and a sense of wholeness and harmony, in your own body and between the two of you.
PC Exercises for Men
There is nothing like connecting deeply with your partner – and time dedicated to each other is pure gold, when there is nothing other than total focus on just being alive together.
Kavida’s PC meditation does so much for us – just doing it every day connects us deeply and as we get wilder and wilder, more and more let go into each other, being free, open and uninhibited, all without any performance, the more our sex life can begin from that place or freedom and openness.
Then there is the physical result: the exercises make you strong and open blood vessels which increase the intensity of feeling throughout your body.
As a man I learn by sheer repetition to be open, free from drama or thinking, immediately responsive and completely focused on my lover….and then there is the ‘cosmic’ rolling orgasm. No words can really describe how this is for a man – it is so utterly different from any orgasm felt before.
The orgasm that comes with ejaculation is like a single sneeze compared to what feels like suddenly being transported to a universe of absolute pleasure that rolls on and on in waves. It takes some time to work up to. You do need to practise and it takes a woman who will wait while you search for the knack, the key that opens Pandora’s box. It is worth overcoming any fears you may have. Suddenly you can (and want to) make love for hours, lost in each other, matching your woman orgasm for orgasm – it feels like endlessly falling – upwards.
So as you practice these meditations together you become closer and more free, and your body learns how to roll with the pleasure you create. Time disappears as there is no ‘end’.
There is nothing like a happy woman – and this is how to begin to prepare yourself for that.
Happy fulfilled woman = happy fulfilled man = off the scale sex life.
You’re a man; you do the maths.
* A Backjack chair can really help if you have trouble sitting cross-legged.
Kavida Rei is a tantric Goddess who utilises the creative power of sexual energy in her healing work, writing, music and the on-going expansion of her internet empire. Kavida is the director of www.sensual-spirit.com, a dating and social network site for singles, couples and polyamorists. She has created the hugely successful Sensual Soirees – parties with heart, where like-minded souls can meet and let their hair down in a safe and loving environment. See www.sensual-soirees.com. Kavida also runs spa retreats with a tantric flavour. In her private tantric therapy practice she offers sex counselling, healing for women, tantra sessions for couples and four-hands, tantric massage. See www.kavidarei.com
Sensual Spirit is a juicy, new social network for singles, couples, polyamorists and beyond.