If you want to inject some spontaneity into your sex life, consider how your home is furnished. Most of us have a desk space for work or study, and an area to cook and bathe, but how many of us have a dedicated zone for pleasure and intimacy?
I started thinking about this after doing a workshop with Shakti Tantra. It took place at the facilitator’s home and we used their loft space, which was filled with colourful, sensual fabrics, rugs, erotic paintings and postcards. There was a subtle smell of incense and massage oil, which helped me to switch gear and relax. I realised that I didn’t have a similar space to unwind at home.
Look at each room and explore the possibilities. Invest in some sex furniture and fabrics that encourage sensual touch. Liberator sells foam wedges, ramps, cushions and cubes that enable you to try different sexual positions and spaces. Experiment with silk sheets, PVC, faux fur, satin, and a waterproof mattress cover so you can dine Japanese style without worrying about the mess. A chaise longue is more fun than a sofa and will make you feel like a goddess. Erotic art, risqué photographs, a deep pile bamboo shag rug, and plump cushions will whet your appetite (and help you avoid carpet burn, hopefully).
Having a sensual home encourages spontaneity and takes sex out of the bedroom so it doesn’t feel routine. I’m having fun furnishing my new flat at the moment and thinking about how I want it to make me feel. I have a Japanese Cherry Blossom screen in my bedroom for undressing, an erotic library, and I Rub My Duckie vibe, who sits on the side of the bathtub and has a permanent smile. At least this place has a proper lock on the bathroom door, so there’s no chance of a little person bursting through the door and spoiling my fun…