Low libido

Interesting comment today in response to an article I wrote for Suite 101 on loss of libido: –

Here’s a link to the article. Comment below:

To the faithful husband who commented January 3, realising that I don’t know anything about your situation I’d like to ask: Have you tried taking some of her burdens? Maybe you have but if you’re losing to the laundry she may just be exhausted?

There’s been a few studies lately about husbands who help more inside the house having a better sex life, might be worth googling. I’m in your situation too but for me it’s my husband who is not interested. The problem is, the less you have sex the less you want it. I understand that my husband works long hours at a physical job but we’ve been married 3 & 1/2 years and we average once a month and it’s been this way for at least a year, maybe two. Could it also be a self-esteem issue or perhaps she feels taken for granted and is harbouring resentment?

It’s a touchy subject to discuss because the low libido person always feels like you’re trying to pressure them into it but it’s worth trying to talk it out in a patient manner. Explain that you want to understand how she feels not blame her or make her feel guilty about it. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help.

All good points – communication, consideration and kindness are key to libido and a good sex life, in addition to the physical factors: enough sleep, time for yourself, a good diet, health, regular exercise and so on. This topic stirs up so much emotion and I’d like to explore it further. Matt and I are going through it as knackered working parents to a three year-old dynamo who won’t sleep in her own bed. Tantra helps (will expand on that in a mo). I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences, comments and stories for my book.

Photo credit: Attator@iStockphoto.

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