Words: Risque Boutique
As relationships mature, sex can become a chore. Read on to put a little something special back into your sex life.
It’s a commonly known fact that long relationships are likely to become as much about the conversation and the friendship as they are about the sex life. And while this is an inevitable part of life, a natural progression for a relationship, and actually an amazing thing, it should not mean that the sex disappears completely!
If you’ve had a little break from passionate sex, and your bedroom prowess has been taken over by late night movies and a good romantic novel, perhaps it’s time to add a little vibrance back into the bedroom. Think about why you have reached this point. Were you too tired? Too busy? Not in the mood? Do you not feel attractive? Are you not attracted to your partner? Whatever the reason, it is important you determine what has led you to your current state, so you can really put some energy and steam back into your love life.
So how can you do it?
1. Be honest
Your long term partner is long term for a reason, you have a connection that means you can be honest with each other. It may be an awkward topic, even a little embarrassing, despite your knowledge of each other, but have a chat about what’s going on. Be honest with each other. Perhaps things just got boring – maybe you just need to try something new. Possibly you both have ideas you would like to attempt, but have never really had the nous to say so, and once the ‘drought’ hit, it almost seemed too late. Once you get past the tough part of the conversation, the naughty ideas can be fun, and help you get back in the mood!
2. Re-learn each other
While sex can be like riding a bike, if it’s been a while, likely what you want and need has changed a little, so the first step is to re-learn each other. This is a fantastic stage, and one when you can really channel that time when you were young, fresh, first together and all you wanted to do was rip each other’s clothes off!
3. Take it in turns to be selfish
If you or your partner is dominant, it can be difficult for you to both learn what the other likes. Take it in turns to be selfish. You be the focus first and let him find out just what you like. Don’t be afraid to direct and be a little bossy, he will learn faster, and you will both enjoy yourself more! When it’s his turn, encourage him to direct and you should follow instructions.
4. Add toys
Now that you know each other a little better, the time is right to add those little new experiences mentioned earlier. Head online and check out a sex store or two – if you’ve never been, you’ll be surprised at what’s available. You can take your time together, to look through everything available and find some great new toys to try on each other. Something simple, like vibrators, are a great start, as they’re straight forward and can provide a lot of pleasure. Give it a go!
This is one area where practice is anything but a bad word! Take the chance whenever you can to get back into bed and try new things, new positions and new sex toys.