Welcome to RUDE, an online resource for better sex & relationships, health & wellbeing.
Sex is free, fun and good for us but it can also be a source of anxiety. Professor Alan Riley from the Lancashire School of Medicine and Health says loss of libido is the number one sex complaint amongst women. A recent report by Relate shows an increase of 240% from 1996 – 2002 in the number of couples seeking help for loss of desire. The Kinsey Institute also published a survey suggesting that 21st century women are having less sex than their grandmothers.
While men have access to Viagra, the race to create a little pink pill to market to women hasn’t been successful. Problems with desire, arousal, orgasm and painful sex are labelled as ‘female sexual dysfunction’ and ‘hypoactive sexual desire disorder’ unfortunately, with drug companies claiming that 43% of women are affected (a figure that most experts take with a pinch of salt…) Viagra doesn’t work for women because female sexuality is complex, involving the ‘heart, head and hormones,’ says Dr John Studd. We need to approach sex holistically taking diet, lifestyle, stress levels, work, relationships and self-esteem into account before we label someone ‘dysfunctional’.
Vaginal rejuvenation surgery is a growing area of medicine. There are 200+ clinics worldwide offering this service yet women come in all shapes and sizes and the labia play a key role in sexual arousal and pleasure. We don’t believe in nip/tuck for aesthetic purposes and support the work of charities like Forward that campaign to put a stop to female genital mutilation. Jamie McCartney’s ‘The Great Wall of Vagina’ shows how different we ladies are down there.
We’re passionate about the need for proper sex and relationship education in schools and want to see this as a core part of the curriculum that’s taught by trained specialists. Teenagers need to learn what a good relationship looks like and be taught life skills to build self esteem so that they have the confidence to say no to things that don’t feel good and have the ability to recognise that mainstream porn isn’t real life sex. We’re working with organisations like MLNP, which aim to make this happen.
We also need new, healthy relationships models given that marriage is on the decline and divorce rates are higher than ever. We’re living longer and moving around more which means there’s less community and family support for children, putting extra pressure on relationships. Alternative relationships are on the rise as we explore new ways of living and loving. More of us are dating again in later life and using the internet to meet new partners.
RUDE is created by a small, passionate team who are committed to changing the status quo and showing healthy alternatives. We celebrate life, love, our relationships, and want to keep growing as individuals. We also want to make a difference to women’s rights and lifestyles around the world – to see an end to FGM, domestic violence and inequality, and to empower women to find their own ways to make a difference to their lives and communities.
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